You know what? Fuck all of you. Fuck every single one of you for even thinking that you could bring me down like that. Fuck you for saying something like "Why don't you just quit already, everyone hates you anyway." And fuck all of you for saying that you agreed with that statement. Fuck you for forcing me to swallow the tears that followed.
Because hell, I'm not letting you see me weak. Maybe I did run away to the back of the kitchen. Maybe I did stay there all night doing dishes and yeah, maybe a few tears were shed because of the words you said. But you know what? Fuck you.
I don't need your approval. I've worked SO FUCKING HARD the last few months to get to where I am right now. I was happy. For once I was genuinely happy. Feeling good about living and even thinking that I might be good enough to make something of myself. I'm not letting you come by and wreck that.
And to you. How fucking dare you touch me. How fucking dare you put your hands on my hips like they belong there. They don't. Not anymore. I'm ending this right here.
I'm done with you. Over you. Completely because name one minute in the last six months where you were a good thing for me.
I can't name any but I can certainly name millions of times when you were bad for me. Just look at my arms and remember that you're the very reason for the scars that stripe across them.
Oh trust me, there won't be any more. Not from depression and definitely not because of you.
Everyone stopped feeling sorry for you, you know. Maybe now everyone will start seeing how fucking pathetic you are. You never loved me. Love is just a fucking hoax. And we were sixteen. No one falls in love at sixteen, and especially not in their first serious relationship.
It's called Lust, sweetie.
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I'm so proud of you. You didn't let them bring you down. You stood up. It's okay to run away and be alone.
ReplyDeleteAny boy is not worth the emotional and physical pain that he may cause you.
I love you so much little sis and I'm so glad to see you on the path to happiness again. Don't let stupid fuckers take that away. It is yours forever and everyone will try to take it away. Don't let him or any other of your "friends" take it.
alright that's probably enough big sister rant advice.
I love you.
xoxo hay squared numero uno
No words can possibly describe how proud of you I am right now.
ReplyDeleteFor not keeping it all bottled up inside, for sticking up for yourself, for not giving in to a boy that has tried so hard to tear your world apart. For knowing you deserve better.
I am proud to call you my friend.