7 Hour Story:

D: Once upon a time there was a beautiful, magical princess
M: Who had an evil brother who always wanted to beat her up.
D: The only way she stayed safe was by paying him $131.50 every week so that he didn't beat her up
M: But she never had any money because her evil brother stole it so he could beat her up anyway.
D: One day, the princess came up with a GREAT plan!
M: She was going to beat her brother up and steal the throne.
D: The first thing she did was use her magical powers to change her hair color, so he would never recognize her.
M: And then she snuck into his bedroom.
D: He heard her coming, but she thought she was the hooker he hired...
M: She thought he was sleeping so she kept coming to attack him....
D: He rolled over, opening his eyes: it was now or never!
M: She got scared and tried to run away...
D: But he hit a switch that locked the door.
M: She begged for him to forgive her.
D: He thought a minute, then smiled an evil smile, then he KICKED! HER! ASS!
M: She cried. He was the worst brother ever.
D: Then she ran to tell mommy.
M: The queen was really mad at her brother because she loved the princess more, because the princess was really cute and the prince wasn't.
D: The queen couldn't decide: have the guards beat the prince, or have them kill the prince.
M: The princess loved her brother, so she told the queen to have them beat him down.
D: So the queen and the princess decided to escort the guards to the prince's quarters.
M: The princess laughed at the prince.
D: The prince called the princess a tattle-telling skankity slut-slut.
M: The princess had the guards beat up the prince.
D: Then the prince told the guards to beat up the princess.
M: The guards then got confused and beat up each other.
D: And then the prince and the princess laughed at the guards' stupidity.
M: The princess said she was sorry to her brother.
D: The prince laughed and said he kinda deserved it...
M: The princess asked if the could be friends again.
D: The prince thought that was a great idea! He missed his little sis.
M: The prince and the princess hugged.
D: Then the prince lightly punched the princess in the arm and smiled.
M: Then the princess punched the princess in the face.
D: And then they all lived happily ever after!