I swim for brighter days, despite the absence of sun:

I often have the complete inability to write about things that are important to me, or things that are happening in my life. It's not that I don't want to, but I sit down at blogger and I open up a new post... and nothing comes. My head goes blank, or worse, fills with a bunch of feelings that I'd rather not pour onto paper. Or into this box. Or anywhere. I don't want to document things here that I wouldn't say out loud to the few people who dare read this thing. I don't want this thing to become more substantial than the people I love the most.

I've been thinking a lot lately about why I keep this blog. I used to think - back when I was sixteen and so remarkably naive - that I would get internet famous off of this thing. I used to crave the comments on each post, even if it was only from one or two people. Attention, that's what it was. I craved it like an addict. But now, over two years later, this blog isn't for that anymore. This blog, although I do give several people the privilege of reading my thoughts, is mine. And mine only.

I made the decision a few years ago that I wanted to document my life, and while I regret my original reasons for doing so, I do believe it was the best decision I could have made at the time. As hard as it is to read a lot of those posts, I'm glad they're there. I'm glad I can document the last two years of my life like this.

And, for as long as it's healthy for me to do so, I want to continue to keep my thoughts here. I might have to change the link from time to time, but I want to keep this blog.