Heart of Mine:

How do you measure a friendship?

Do you measure it by the amount of times you see the other person? Or the amount of times you talk to a person on the phone? Or better, do you measure your friendship based on how much they do for you? I've been asked before how I describe my friendship with Ruth. The truth is that I can't. I can describe the things we do together, or the things we talk about when we're on skype or on the phone. But what I can't express is the love I feel for this girl.

Ruth has said before:

"The friends that matter the most are meant for each other. After years and wars, they are still one soul in the same body. My best friend is the love of my life. Why, for you to love someone, does it have to be considered sexual? Does there need to be a physical attraction?"

And I think that's the closest that I've come to describing how I feel about her. I consider her to be the part of my soul that was never put inside my body. As she would describe it, she fills the gaps in my personality that I cannot. When I don't have her in my life, every other friendship I have starts to crumble. I start to crumble. Without her, I do not feel whole. Some people I know would counter to that with "But you're without her all the time, you only see her once a year". And that's the technical way to look at it, but what they don't understand is that I talk to Ruth almost every day. Through skype or texts or the phone, and if we're really busy, an @reply on twitter will suffice. And while these forms of communication will never fill the 1000mile gap between us, it does make it a little easier. There are also things about her that I can't explain. Like the utter relief I feel whenever she is near. Or the way my heart leaps the instant I see her, as though it's other half is finally back. I can't explain how her voice has a way of soothing me instantly, or the way one mean word from her can crush my entire day. She is my soulmate. The most permanent thing I have.

Some people have scoffed at the idea of me moving to Texas. Laughing it off as me just wanting to be near my friend. But the truth is, that's EXACTLY it. I want to be near my friend. Some would consider that to be a dumb reason to move, but I have to move somewhere, don't I? I'm not staying in Missouri for the rest of my life, and moving to Texas to be with Ruth seems like the next best thing. On the ride home from Chicago, Ruth and I discussed this. Like I told her, I want to be near her for the rest of my life. I want my kids - if I have kids - to know her. She fills my holes, and who's to say that she won't fill the gaps in my kids' lives too? Regardless of others' opinions on my life, I will be moving to Texas to be near her.

Now that that's settled, I just need to get her warmed up on the idea of a Star Wars wedding.