Ten things I'd like to get off my chest:

1. My grandma is still in the hospital, tomorrow it will have been two weeks. They keep pushing back her release, and the more they do so, the more afraid I become.
2. The longer she is in the hospital, the more it stirs up the thought that she might not make it through this, or that any moment she could die and I’d be in Columbia.
3. Which, only stirs up the bad memories of my Grandpa dying, and then I get all panicky again.
4. My grandma might be moving. Still in Hannibal, but away from the house that she’s lived in throughout my childhood. I feel like, while it would ultimately be what’s best for her, her moving would be like putting the last piece of my childhood away.
5. Being away from home sucks. I have never been more homesick than I have been the last few weeks.
6. NaNoWriMo. I’m not doing as well as I’d hoped. I’d planned to be at 30k by this weekend, and that didn’t happen. Now I’m disappointed in myself.
7. I’ve been feeling more distant from Madi than ever, and the thought makes me feel sick.
8. I have to go back to Mizzou in the morning, and while that seems to be such an amazing thing 90% of the time, I’m not thrilled about it this time.
9. Thanksgiving is two weeks away, and there’s a chance that my grandma could still be in the hospital. I can’t imagine the holiday without her.
10. I don’t have any money anymore.