You're Back To Your Old Ways - Carelessly Leaving Tracks:

As a good chunk of you may know, I recently lost a friend of mine, a really good friend of mine, over the concept of Christianity.

I don't go into my religious beliefs often on here, simply because in the past I never wanted to start a controversial topic on my blog that I was sure some of my friends - who belief otherwise - would get upset by it. But I'll be honest, I am not Christian. But at the same time, much to the belief of the friend I lost, I am not nothing. I do believe in a God, but I know it's not the one that is believed to have created the Earth, the people, Adam & Eve, etc. I believe in more of a universal pull, a spirit that exists in everyone, that God is different to each and every person. I'm not going to get into the specifics.

And while I disagree with my friend's beliefs, I have never once put down her beliefs, as she has done mine. I didn't belittle her for believing in what she does, and if it came off that way, I'm truly sorry.

The part that hurts the worst over the loss of this friendship is not only the fact that she cannot be accepting of my beliefs, but that she felt she had to get revenge on me. Which, I too am a vengeful person, but I believe that she took it a step too far when she emailed my mother. It really hurt, and got me very upset. And for days, I've been sitting here thinking about it. Several people have told me to get my revenge, and I could easily do that. With the amount of things she's told me over the five years of our friendship, getting my revenge would not be difficult. If I wanted to, I could hurt her in ways that she tried to hurt me with the email to my mother.

But really, is it worth it? The other day she asked a friend of mine why she had to be the better person in this, and from what I understand, my friend replied to tell her that it was because she is the only one who claims to be. And that's the truth. In the past, I have had no problems crushing people when they hurt me. And I've been thinking about it, about all of the things I could do, the things I could say. I have so many things on her, and a lot of them could hurt her. And I could do it, and I would probably feel bad for a little while, but I'd get over it. However, in a way, I think that's what she wants. She wants a war, she wants to fight.

It's my move in this twisted game we're playing.

And I quit.

But keep in mind, make another move against me, and I will do it. I will take you down with me.