i'm sentimental, but last time I checked that wasn't bad:

Today was one of those days where I was overwhelmed with emotions. Happy, Sad, Dorky, Angry, if it's an emotion, it was me today.

Today I hung out with Sara, Jakob, and Eric. It started out with Sara and Jakob coming here to watch tv, ending up with me and Eric standing out at my grandma's house kissing. Isn't it funny how things change?

One part of my day that stands out, is Eric and I hiding from Sara and Jakob. Going to the park. My park. That special place of mine. And I was struck with the memories of my life, what was it? Eight months ago? My grandpa died about that long ago and my life did a 180. And honestly, I hated him. I hated him for dying and leaving me here all alone. He was one person I could depend on and he was gone in a flash. I'll never forget that day. Ever. But today wasn't about that.

And this post won't be either.

Today I found myself standing at the park, on the sidelines but still a part of it. I stood watching Eric, Jakob, and Sara, two of those people being contributing factors to the reason I get up and out of bed in the morning, playing on the merry-go-round thing. It was freezing cold with snow coming down and sticking to our hair, but we still stayed there going round and round and I still stood by the swings and watched. And I was flashed back to six months ago, nearly to the day, when a group of my closest friends went downtown to hang out. And then there were people who I still can't believe had the lasting effect that they have.

I remember going to the park, it was very, very close to the fourth of July. And we were on that and we were all spinning around in circles. This was back before anything happened with Eric and I, back when Tyler and I still tried to make things work. Back when Sara and I still talked about the stupidest things, but she was still too untrusting to tell me everything about her. Back before things happened. We were going around in circles and laughing and loving and caring about each other.

Today brought that feeling back. Things have changed. Things have happened. Boyfriends stood in the way of friendship, new crushes, crushes have turned into boyfriends and things have changed. I've been in counselling and have grown to the point where a year ago I would have said you were crazy if this could have been predicted.

But today, standing and watching them, my friends, go around in circles after everything brought me back to that time. Back when I thought my life was absolutely perfect and I wanted to relive that day. That park, the only park in town still remaining with a decent swingset, my park, our park, the park that time forgot. That merry-go-round brings back the happiest memories. Sometimes I think it's magic, and spins me back in time.

Being there with Sara today made me think. Our friendship has been tested over the last few months. Sara means so much to me for many reasons, but one that stands out to me today is the fact that she couldn't have came into my life at a better time. She emerged as a genuine friend to me when I needed her the most, just a few weeks after my grandpa died. And unlike most people, she's stuck through and been there for me ever since. And rain, sunshine, snow, no matter the weather she'll be there for me. Just like my heart and my memories will always be at that park.