Lately, it's been hard not to think about how my life was at this time last year. On Thursday, my cousin Mercedes graduated from Hannibal High School just as I did one year ago. And it was weird to sit there and watch her walk across the stage. To know the things that must have been going through her mind. If I know based on my own experiences, it was a lot of "goddamn why is this gown so hot and why are they talking so fucking much". And also a lot of "oh my god, this is it."
High school graduation is something that people talk about for your whole life. When you're in elementary school, it's a joke. That far off, never-gonna-happen thing that your parents talk about in an almost longing way. In middle school, it seems a little bit closer with cries of "six more years!" when you're in 6th grade (I still can't believe it's been that long since I was in 6th grade) and the pressing of your parents and teachers to write papers entitled "What I Want To Be When I Grow Up". And then you reach your Freshman year of high school and suddenly it's a whirlwind of getting good grades, because you want to get in to college, don't you? And then slowly, it's your senior year and then you're sitting on the field and you're thinking "holy fuck, this is it."
That, and that the gowns you have to wear are hot and there's not a possible way to sit in them without being uncomfortable. They're a bit unforgiving.
To watch Cede graduate was magical. I loved seeing the way that she looked so high and proud, her self esteem bursting. And that's the way she should have felt. High school graduation is a gloating moment. A "look what I just fucking did" kind of thing. But it's also scary as hell. It's the end of comfort, the end of knowing exactly what to expect.
But Cede can do it. I have nothing but faith in her. Although in college she might want to stop smacking everyone's butts and saying "good game!"
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