it's clear to me, it's clear as glass:

I've hurt a lot of people in my lifetime, in ways that were both malicious and accidental. I've tried hard to make up for those things, because if I don't they'll haunt me until I can no longer think about anything but the situation.

In this situation, it appears that something like that may not be possible. But that doesn't mean I'm going to start giving up. And if I can't make peace with you, at the very least, I will make peace with myself.

I started writing again. If you know me, you know the significance of these words.