Friday, June 11, 2010

Happy Birthday, Eternity Will Never Be Enough:

William:

By now, all of my friends and family know the story of how we met - we being me and my wife, Delaney - when we were in kindergarten. To many, our story has lost it's value, it's quality. Now, it's just the story of how Will and Delaney met, but to us, it's so much more. It's our love story, our very perfect fairy tale. Or not so perfect, honestly. Friends and family know - almost - every detail of our story, from our awkward first kiss to our dramatic one year break up. To our reunion. To the night that I twirled with her under twinkling dance lights and then slid a ring on her finger just hours later.

It's been twenty years, and I still don't think the full extent of our love has sunk in yet. Not even through three - and almost four - children and our first grandchild. Not through anything we've gone through. But I'm kind of glad that I feel that way. It's more… special that way. Even after all this time - all thirty-six years of knowing her - I have yet to find out everything about her. And I know most things. I know that she puts on her left shoe first, or the way that it's always her left hand that reaches for the toothbrush in the morning. But I'm always learning, always exploring the things that I've yet to find out about the love of my life.

I guess that's what makes our love so special. It's growing, forever. It's a constant. I'm always growing in love with her. I love her more today than I did yesterday, but I don't love her as much as I will tomorrow. I love her every time I look at our children, and every time I see my grandson's eyes light up at the sight of me. I physically feel our love with every hug from my daughter, or every time I put my head on her stomach to feel our - soon to be - daughter kicking. I especially feel it when she touches me - whether it is just a casual touch or something more. I see and feel her and her love in everything. I don't think I could handle it if I didn't.

It's been twenty years since I slid a ring onto her finger and proclaimed her my wife. It's been twenty-seven years since our first kiss, and thirty-six years since the first time I saw her. But I know that it's not our limit. I will be in love with this woman until the day my life ends, but that won't be all, either. I will love her until the ends of eternity, but even that won't be enough.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Our Hearts Are Heavy And Light:

we laugh and scream and sing.

Saturday, June 5, 2010

Heart of Mine:



How do you measure a friendship?

Do you measure it by the amount of times you see the other person? Or the amount of times you talk to a person on the phone? Or better, do you measure your friendship based on how much they do for you? I've been asked before how I describe my friendship with Ruth. The truth is that I can't. I can describe the things we do together, or the things we talk about when we're on skype or on the phone. But what I can't express is the love I feel for this girl.

Ruth has said before:
"The friends that matter the most are meant for each other. After years and wars, they are still one soul in the same body. My best friend is the love of my life. Why, for you to love someone, does it have to be considered sexual? Does there need to be a physical attraction?"
And I think that's the closest that I've come to describing how I feel about her. I consider her to be the part of my soul that was never put inside my body. As she would describe it, she fills the gaps in my personality that I cannot. When I don't have her in my life, every other friendship I have starts to crumble. I start to crumble. Without her, I do not feel whole. Some people I know would counter to that with "But you're without her all the time, you only see her once a year". And that's the technical way to look at it, but what they don't understand is that I talk to Ruth almost every day. Through skype or texts or the phone, and if we're really busy, an @reply on twitter will suffice. And while these forms of communication will never fill the 1000mile gap between us, it does make it a little easier. There are also things about her that I can't explain. Like the utter relief I feel whenever she is near. Or the way my heart leaps the instant I see her, as though it's other half is finally back. I can't explain how her voice has a way of soothing me instantly, or the way one mean word from her can crush my entire day. She is my soulmate. The most permanent thing I have.

Some people have scoffed at the idea of me moving to Texas. Laughing it off as me just wanting to be near my friend. But the truth is, that's EXACTLY it. I want to be near my friend. Some would consider that to be a dumb reason to move, but I have to move somewhere, don't I? I'm not staying in Missouri for the rest of my life, and moving to Texas to be with Ruth seems like the next best thing. On the ride home from Chicago, Ruth and I discussed this. Like I told her, I want to be near her for the rest of my life. I want my kids - if I have kids - to know her. She fills my holes, and who's to say that she won't fill the gaps in my kids' lives too? Regardless of others' opinions on my life, I will be moving to Texas to be near her.

Now that that's settled, I just need to get her warmed up on the idea of a Star Wars wedding.

Friday, June 4, 2010

and maybe we're a little too much like winnie the pooh:

goodgirlsgoruth: OKAY BYE I LOVE YOU POOKIE
vosetoiless: BYE BOO.
vosetoiless: I LOVE YOU TOO.
vosetoiless: LIKE KANGA LOVES ROO.
goodgirlsgoruth: AWWWWWW
goodgirlsgoruth: I'M ROO I'M ROO
vosetoiless: CAN I BE KANGA?
goodgirlsgoruth: YA

would you rather have online friends or in real life friends?

There is no easy way to answer this question, to be honest. The simple answer would be that I would prefer to have in real life friends, but not in the way that you're thinking.

Through the Internet, I have met dozens of wonderful, amazing people that I am blessed to have in my life. Through the Internet, I have also met a ton of bitches, but that's another story. I am thankful to have these people in my life, however they do not take the place of the friends that I have here.

I would be perfectly happy to have these same online friends here with me, instead of miles away. Because - excluding the people I know at school, who I won't be seeing for quite some time - the people I know in real life kind of suck.

You see I've got this American Love...

best friends, ex friends until the end.






this girl is my best friend in the entire world, and her name is ruth.

How do you think your life would be different if your best friend had never moved away?

Ideally, we would still be friends, the only difference is that she would be here and not 1000 miles away from me. We'd probably be going to the same college, if not roommates.

However, the truth is that I don't know what my life would have been like if she stayed. I don't know if she would have turned into any other friendship I've ever had, where they've been more of time/place friendships that I have always had trouble putting effort into. I don't know if we would have been friends in high school or if we had, would we have survived graduation?

Most people won't believe me when I say this, but I'm glad she doesn't live here anymore. It turned our bullshit, preteen friendship into a real friendship that I cherish. I know that she'll be my friend for the rest of my life, regardless of where she is.

You see I've got this American Love...